Peace Corps Black-Sites

I’ve heard Peace Corps Nicaragua been referred to as the “Posh Corps.” And I’m not going to argue. We’ve got it good here. It is easy to get around the country. We are close to the United States. The staff has got their head pretty well fixed on their shoulders, and most of us inhabit moderate-to-good living conditions.

One thing though that gets me is our Rulebook. The office here has seen fit to write down 150 pages of recommendations, guidelines, and rules for us humble Volunteers. Needless to say, most Volunteers in Nicaragua have not read the whole thing. I recently read the Rulebook, cover to cover, and I was astonished – absolutely shocked, that for the worst rule breakers in Nicaragua the Peace Corps maintain “black-sites” in Lesser Desirable Countries (LDC’s) where they will send us to complete our service. Don’t let Dianne Feinstein get her hands on this folks.

PC North Korea – The recent visit of James Clapper, Director of National Intelligence to “the Hermit Kingdom” has paved the way for two next exciting Peace Corps programs in North Korea, agriculture and health care promotion. Lucky Health Promotion Volunteers may even get to take a look at Kim Jong-un’s gouty feet. Country Director Dennis Rodman says that PC North Korea Volunteers need to be prepared to not speak to or hear from any of their friends or family for 27 months. Grounds to be sent to PC North Korea: Not wearing a helmet while riding your bike.

PC Somalia – Somalia has come really far in the last few years, when it was in the news for utter anarchy and persistent piracy on the high seas. PC Country Director Tom Hanks welcomes Volunteers to the Education sector as well as Aquaculture/Fisheries program. Grounds to be sent to PC Somalia: Illegally downloading pirated media files on the PC computers.

PC Islamic State – The Peace Corps just opened a post in one of the newest countries in the world, the Islamic State, perched in the dessert between Syria and Iraq. Currently, the only project in PC Islamic State is Small Business Development. We’re really hoping to help them promote a strong middle class. Grounds to be sent to PC Islamic State: Riding a motorcycle in Nicaragua.

PC Russia – The failing price of oil and sanctions over Ukraine may be pummeling Russia’s economy, but that doesn’t mean that the Peace Corps doesn’t have a place in Mother Russia. Volunteers in Russia, led by Country Director Edward Snowden, will be engaged in three projects: Teaching English as a Foreign Language (TEFL), Community Economic Development, and Environmental Education. Grounds to be sent to PC Russia: Taking files from Sharepoint and sharing them with the news media.

PC Haiti – Haiti, “the better half of Hispaniola,” beckons Volunteers to serve and immerse themselves in the people’s unique French-Creole culture. Volunteers should be of strong intestinal constitution and not be averse to voodoo.  The only project at this time is Community Health Promotion. Grounds to be sent to PC Haiti: Not taking your malaria pills.

PC Kiribati – Kiribati may not be well known, but that does not mean that she does not need our help. Volunteers will be engaged in either Community Health Promotion or Environmental Education. As one of the countries of the world most endangered by global warming and rising sea levels the locals needs to be reminded to throw away their garbage properly and turn off the lights when they are not in use. Grounds to be sent to PC Kiribati: Sending in your VRF late.

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1 Response to Peace Corps Black-Sites

  1. Dr. Rochelle Mozlin says:

    I will not come visit you in any of these places, so straighten up and fly right!

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